You tune out when I am in the middle of a conversation. Really? That is so rude. I may like to ramble a bit, but what I have to say is important.
How can you run out of energy after only a couple of hours? That is just weak.
You send crazy text messages. Do I need to receive “K” five times in a row?
My friends aren’t important to you. How can you forget them after all this time?
can you not be able to multi-task? I am not asking that you solve
world peace and chew gum at the same time, but being able to hold a
conversation and schedule a date simultaneously would be nice.
I know you play songs I hate on purpose. Not cool.
I really need you to be there for me. Like that time you failed me
when I was stuck in a ditch in the rain? That really sucked.
these reasons, and many reasons I have chosen to keep to myself, I am
moving on. I have decided to upgrade. I am getting a smartphone. Your
uselessness as a “stupid” phone has irritated me for the last time.
You remind me of my dishwasher ~ I have to wash the dishes before I
load it. You are useful only when I baby you. And that, my dear stupid
phone, is why I am saying goodbye.